Cheeky Communique Sender Gifts

'Why waste money sending my secretary one of those saucy postcards when I can just send her a saucy email!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

'Modern romance'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

~ S.O.S.

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"I see that, but can you play well with others?"

Have a nice day, if you are already having a nice day please disregard this notice. (reading letter at mailbox)

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

Justice for a heckler.

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

'...the next train arriving at platform one is the 10.45 fast service to orgasm central!'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'I would appreciate it if you don't call out in class.'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

Dear Santa- Thanks for the awesome gift! p.s. did you know cellphones have built-in calculators? p.p.s. you suck.

People talking through a stethoscope.

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

"I was rather hoping you'd be using incisive rebuttals based on an eclectic knowledge of the subject area!"

"Sometimes I just enjoy listening to some of my favorite old messages."