Clever Communicator Gifts

Of course I don't seem too smart to my teacher. She's a college graduate.

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"I'm gonna make this short and to the point."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Direct Marketing...

"I'm fascinated by body language."

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Target your message

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Wordplay: Export.

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

'Modern romance'

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

You make me feel more like a veterinarian than a psychiatrist, Al. Why is that, Dr. Kapuchnik? Because you're one sick puppy.

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Time for speeches

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

'Charles is a linguist. He speaks three language...golf, baseball and football.'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.