Humorous Communicator Gifts

'Well, technically I suppose you're not breaking your vow of silence.'

'I never set my phone to 'vibrate.' If I'm purring, I never know if I'm getting a call or not.'

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Direct Marketing...

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Time for speeches

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

Communication

The Curse of Rhadamanthus (For Pete's Sake)

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

"They're on a silent retreat."

"I'm just posting something to my wall."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'