Communication Humorists Gifts

"Would you care to talk to the hand? Because the face ain't listenin'."

"I meant the dog!"

Antler Buzzers.

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Can you do anything else?'

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

'. . . however, in the brand-new global ball-game of macro-economics we blah blah blather blah. . .'

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

"Are you talking to me?"

Modern animal communication

'Another failure to communicate?'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

'Yes, this is us speaking.'