Communication Humorists Gifts

"Would you care to talk to the hand? Because the face ain't listenin'."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"I meant the dog!"

Antler Buzzers.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

'They want your underwear.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'Can you do anything else?'

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

"He took that kinda hard."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

'. . . however, in the brand-new global ball-game of macro-economics we blah blah blather blah. . .'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

When you said it was a place with women and a bar I didn't think you meant a ballet class.

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

"Are you talking to me?"

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

'Another failure to communicate?'

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

Modern animal communication

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'