Communication Comedy Gifts

'Geoffrey got a triple word score! . . .no, we weren't playing scrabble, I give him points if he strings three words together.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Yes, I'm alone."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Antler Buzzers.

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"Are you talking to me?"

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

Modern animal communication

'Another failure to communicate?'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"Can you hear me now?"

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

'Can I call you back? I'm going into a tunnel.'

Text in a bottle

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

"You' re not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Bob tries out his new sleazeball checker.

Hermit on island can't escape modern society.