Communication Comedy Pillows

You didn't hear me right, Ernie --- I said we need a team mascot.

'Geoffrey got a triple word score! . . .no, we weren't playing scrabble, I give him points if he strings three words together.'

"He took that kinda hard."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Yes, I'm alone."

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Antler Buzzers.

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

'They want your underwear.'

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"Are you talking to me?"

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

Modern animal communication

'Another failure to communicate?'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"Can you hear me now?"

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

'Can I call you back? I'm going into a tunnel.'

Text in a bottle

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

"You' re not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"