Communication Comedy Fans Pillows

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Standard & Poor

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Antler Buzzers.

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

Yakety-Yak

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'The penguin is upset...'