Communication Comedian Pillows

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

Antler Buzzers.

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"Are you talking to me?"

'Another failure to communicate?'

Modern animal communication

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Can you hear me now?"

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

Text in a bottle

'Can I call you back? I'm going into a tunnel.'

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

Bob tries out his new sleazeball checker.

Hermit on island can't escape modern society.

"Why can't we have a discussion without it escalating into a shouting match?"

"So no text? Nothing?"

Learn from your mistakes...this is the last time I let you talk me into a double date.