Communication Comedian Gifts

"Hon, what's an allegory?"

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

'Well, if I got the wrong number how come you answered the phone?'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Antler Buzzers.

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'They want your underwear.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"He took that kinda hard."

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"Are you talking to me?"

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

Modern animal communication

'Another failure to communicate?'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Can you hear me now?"

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'

'Can I call you back? I'm going into a tunnel.'

Text in a bottle

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"

Bob tries out his new sleazeball checker.

Hermit on island can't escape modern society.

"So no text? Nothing?"