Communication Humorist Pillows

'I said... SPEAK UP!'

'Another failure to communicate?'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

'The echo is busy at the moment. After the bleep, please leave a message.'

"Perhaps the Nervii are up in arms. Maybe our envoys to Britain have been ambushed. HOw am I suppose to run an empire without a cordless phone?"

'Watch your language, I'm not a recording!'

"You won't believe this: he told me that I never listen."

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

"This the last time I reply all."

"I meant the dog!"

Antler Buzzers.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

'Can you do anything else?'

"I'm disabling autocorrect, because it reminds me too much of my mother-in-law."

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

"Are you talking to me?"

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'. . . however, in the brand-new global ball-game of macro-economics we blah blah blather blah. . .'

"All I said is I'd like a little more attention. I don't need the shenanigans."

Modern animal communication

'I don't haven to remind you again, do I?'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

'I understand the plight of average crustaceans... Because I'm just an average crustacean myself.'

'We get along so much better after I disabled the 'Comments' function of our relationship!'