Cheeky Critic Pillows

'Yeah, this wine is terrible - but at least it comes in a big bottle.'

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

No-Work Orange

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'My dentist recommended it.'

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

'We're very proud of our little Charlie. His reading is far in advance of his chronological age....'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

Justice for a heckler.

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Thanks for my pocket money Dad. But you forgot to add 17.5% VAT."

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"Sorry, these are saved."

Library - Cats for Dummies.

"Where can a fellow find some loose tea in this town?"

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

Easter Island

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Recession tips & taxes

Book ratings.

Football Fantasies

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

"Do you wash your plums?"

'I've been sent for booze and fags - I've got a stay-at-home mum.'

"Hullo, 'Railtrack' here, we're thinking of organising a few drinks at your place..."

"You ain't wearin' a brassiere."

Now that's what I call a Twinkle.

Yang: 'Ohh YEAH, THAT'S more like it!'