Cheeky Scholar Gifts

The J.A. Dooty, Booty University, School for Smart Asses.

'Your shoe's untied.'

''C-minus'? ??" Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Giant Sequoias'- with apologies to the Encyclopedia Britannica."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Justice for a heckler.

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

"Since I'm your favorite student, do I even have to take this test?"

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

Recession tips & taxes

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

''C-minus'? †Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

'Can I hand up my essay on Friday Miss. My ghostwriter is unwell at present.'

When Astronomers Party.

"I always put my assignments at the bottom of the pile, so by the time she gets to it, she'll be too tired to catch all the mistakes."

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

Is someone trying to tell us something..?

"We lost Mr. Speak No Evil when he became a blogger."

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

'My former boss will tell you I tend to say inappropriate things. But that's because he's an uptight jerk like you.'