Cheeky Philosopher Gifts

Would you Adam and Eve it?

Pigeon Little

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Reverse psychology

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

"It's chic to be vulnerable."

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

The existentialist manifesto according to Jean-Paul Sinatra-'oooby Dooby Doo!'

"It's an agreeable little wine."

"Is it always so cloudy?"

Justice for a heckler.

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"It Works For Us."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

Poking gentle fun at the company in the blog wasn't meant to include saying that the chief exec had a face like a baboons bottom.

The end is near.

"My mum always said life is like a tin of cat food. You never know what you're gonna get..."

"Sorry, these are saved."

I lactate, therefore I am.

"No thanks, I'm vegetarian."