Cheeky Connoisseur Gifts

Now that's what I call a Twinkle.

"It's an agreeable little wine."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'A cheeky red?'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Elephant ass selfie.

Imagine

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

Blue wine

"Sorry, these are saved."

"Wanna chill at my place?"

The King's New Robes.

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"Hey-look, honey! We screwed our tails off!"

"Where can a fellow find some loose tea in this town?"

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

'The Businessman's Lunch won't cut it, hon. We want the Businessman's Orgy!'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"We have a Sauvignon Blanc to refresh your palate or a lick of this toad to obliterate your sense of self."

'Anything worn under my kilt? No. Well-used but not worn!'

'Honk if you know the meaning of life'

"Fancy a bit of the other what, Reg?"

"I think this one will suit you, 'A dizzy little number, with a hint of musty socks'."

Ass-teroids

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?