Cheeky Strategist Gifts

'Would you mind stopping by my house on your way home? -- I'd like my Mom to see your report card before she sees mine.'

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

'Before you go on at me, Dad, is it off the record?'

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

"I always put my assignments at the bottom of the pile, so by the time she gets to it, she'll be too tired to catch all the mistakes."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

CX909708

Sticking out tongue

"We're making progress."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'We need someone on the outside.'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'