Cheeky Professional Gifts

Cat's busy calendar

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Sticking out tongue

'We're looking for somebody in medical research.'

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

"How about after nightime meds you come to my room for some Netflix and chill."

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'The lads are hoping you'll get time off for good behaviour - say next Tuesday fortnight at the Red Lion....'

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

"I always put my assignments at the bottom of the pile, so by the time she gets to it, she'll be too tired to catch all the mistakes."

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

'For God's sake, Ellie, we're vegetarian.'

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

'A large hole has appeared in the wall of the nudist camp - Police are looking into it.'

"Yes Mildred, I'm washing the dishes now."

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

'My former boss will tell you I tend to say inappropriate things. But that's because he's an uptight jerk like you.'

'...and twenty-two mulligans.'

'There's always one.'

'Well, there's plague in town, everyone will believe you if you pull a sickie...'

Rat with a suggestion for a messy kitchen.

"I love it when you talk dirty to me."