Cheeky Strategist Pillows

'Would you mind stopping by my house on your way home? -- I'd like my Mom to see your report card before she sees mine.'

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

'Before you go on at me, Dad, is it off the record?'

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

"I always put my assignments at the bottom of the pile, so by the time she gets to it, she'll be too tired to catch all the mistakes."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

"We're making progress."

CX909708

Sticking out tongue

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

'We need someone on the outside.'

"I'm in advertising. . ."