Witty Strategist Gifts

"Oh, this Clyde. He's my anti-bullying campaign."

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

'Oh, and one more thing

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

CX909708

"We're making progress."

If cartoonists fought wars.

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"I'm in advertising. . ."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Cat Trap,