Light-hearted Strategist Gifts

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

"We're making progress."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

A cat is hiding in a block of cheese to lure a mouse out of its hole.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"This may seem counter intuitive, but maybe the solution is to lighten up."

CX909708

Success

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

"I'm in advertising. . ."

The Death Star gets a marketing makeover.

'I'd have a lot more of em if it weren't' for some jerks always looking for peaceful situations.'

So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."