Cheeky Exhibitionist Gifts

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'Your shoe's untied.'

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

Sticking out tongue

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

'The arrows were more practical,,,,but I found these have a higher success rate,'

Scared sheep visiting a Damien Hirst exhibition.

"Wanna chill at my place?"

"If it weren't for refrigerator magnets, I'd be laboring in complete obscurity!"

'He's using a cheat sheet, ump! Can he do that?'

Easter Island

"Miss. Did you ever actually meet Julius Caesar?"

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'I can't come to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty, little bug.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

'I thought I'd copy my C.V. while the boss is out of the office!'

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

Football Fantasies

'I've never seen such a big sausage!'

Athletes doing hurdles, short athlete has vaulting pole.

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

'My former boss will tell you I tend to say inappropriate things. But that's because he's an uptight jerk like you.'

"I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"it's just different words for the same thing."

'And for the sports minded. . . there's the £100 trip up to my flat.'

"Do you wash your plums?"