Cheeky Artist Gifts

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"We've invented a new word!"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"Wanna chill at my place?"

'The only thing I don't like about playing solitaire on the computer is you can't peek under the cards.'

5,- euro and I'll show you how to hustle 5,- Euro from a doofus!!"

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"Hey! Are you staring at my assets?!"

'Rudolph! Now I know the secret of your bright and shiny nose!'

"Bring me a tit, and make it snappy."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

Before the smart phone there was the smart mouth.

Easter Island

'Sorry, I'm not available. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.'

Good afternoon, Sir. Did you know a canvasser becomes frustrated and violent every 24 minutes in this country?

"I'm doing well at school. My teacher says I've got an answer for everything."

'Here. Drink this till I'm hot.'

Football Fantasies

'I've never seen such a big sausage!'

'I want some lessons in back seat driving.'

(anteater sticking its tongue at passers-by)

'Dang, I told him to take a shower before we sacrificed him to the volcano god!'

'My former boss will tell you I tend to say inappropriate things. But that's because he's an uptight jerk like you.'

'My first day? I got to meet with the principal one on one.'

"I'm using a fake background, no one knows I'm the litter box."

'There's always one.'

"You can be a right stirrer sometimes!"