Economic Opportunist Gifts

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

Learning from economics

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

"Some say we can't go on making millions forever, but I think they're wrong!"

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

Dye now, pay later!

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Bush's Hacker

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

Hotel checkout.

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

Instant winner trash can

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

BAM! BAM! BAM! I'm sure opportunity wouldn't knock like that!

I'm about to get rich, Randy. Filthy rich. How so, little buddy? The federal government's going to seize privately owned lands along the U.S.-Mexico border so they can build Trump's wall. But they'll have to pay the landowners lots of money. So I bought a dirt cheap stretch of land along the border. But no one knows where exactly the wall will be. That's why I bought a 1-inch-wide strip of land that stretches from Colorado to Mexico. You're crazy like a fox that's gone crazy.