Investment Opportunist Gifts

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Man selling dirt and mud.

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'Your stock portfolio didn't lose one third of its value, Mr. Reynolds, it retained two thirds.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

Dye now, pay later!

"Put me back on hold! That song - 'We're in the money' - put me in a really good mood!"

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

Investments Cock-Eyed Optimists.

'I have a way of making £1000 from an investment of £10. Trouble is where do I get £10?'

Instant winner trash can

"Something that in 20 years will be worth a lot of money."

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

"When I said this stock will be $100 in six months, I meant its market cap."

"The DOW will reach 100,000. What else do you want to hear?"