Investment Opportunist Pillows

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

Man selling dirt and mud.

"So you're an investor who dabbles in art? I happen to be an artist who dabbles in money."

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

'Your stock portfolio didn't lose one third of its value, Mr. Reynolds, it retained two thirds.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

Dye now, pay later!

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

"Put me back on hold! That song - 'We're in the money' - put me in a really good mood!"

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Hotel checkout.

'I didn't ask you to help me when it was $90 an ounce, and I didn't ask you to help me when it was $110 an ounce. But when it's $400 an ounce...'

Investments Cock-Eyed Optimists.

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."

'I have a way of making £1000 from an investment of £10. Trouble is where do I get £10?'

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

"Something that in 20 years will be worth a lot of money."

Instant winner trash can

"If only I'd bought Microsoft with it..."

"I wish I was less gullible when it comes to money."

"When I said this stock will be $100 in six months, I meant its market cap."

'If I sold you a fish you would eat for a day. But if I sold you this boat you would eat forever.'