Opportunist Pillows

Man selling dirt and mud.

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

Dye now, pay later!

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

On a late-night flight, fate presents Roger with a golden opportunity. Seizing the moment, he quickly adds two thousand years to his own life.

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

Instant winner trash can

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

'Your best bet, Ralph, is to win the lottery...'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

'Hey darling, I shall be late, missed the gravy train!'

'This isn't Lindsey, but I AM free for dinner saturday night.'

'These days, we don't encourage customers to make themselves at home anymore.'

'I was given a sign I would marry Gerald. It was a pound sign.'

"You look at the ocean and see peace and tranquility. . . I see opportunities for offshore drilling!"

Sculpture Vulture