Crisis Opportunist Pillows

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

Bush's Hacker

Dye now, pay later!

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Hotel checkout.

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

'Your best bet, Ralph, is to win the lottery...'

Businessman thinking a nuclear bomb falling is a potential business opportunity.

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

'This isn't Lindsey, but I AM free for dinner saturday night.'

Seminar. Earn money in your leisure time. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."