Crisis Opportunist Gifts

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Dye now, pay later!

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

Businessman thinking a nuclear bomb falling is a potential business opportunity.

'Your best bet, Ralph, is to win the lottery...'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

'This isn't Lindsey, but I AM free for dinner saturday night.'

"You look at the ocean and see peace and tranquility. . . I see opportunities for offshore drilling!"

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

'These days, we don't encourage customers to make themselves at home anymore.'