Organizing Opportunist Gifts

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Man selling dirt and mud.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

Dye now, pay later!

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Hotel checkout.

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

"So you think people will line up to give us a job?"

I'm about to get rich, Randy. Filthy rich. How so, little buddy? The federal government's going to seize privately owned lands along the U.S.-Mexico border so they can build Trump's wall. But they'll have to pay the landowners lots of money. So I bought a dirt cheap stretch of land along the border. But no one knows where exactly the wall will be. That's why I bought a 1-inch-wide strip of land that stretches from Colorado to Mexico. You're crazy like a fox that's gone crazy.

Businessman thinking a nuclear bomb falling is a potential business opportunity.

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

Seminar. Earn money in your leisure time. Is nothing sacred anymore?

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."