Organizing Opportunist Gifts

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

Man selling dirt and mud.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Dye now, pay later!

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

Best Seller: How you can profit from the upcoming terrorist upheavals.

"So you think people will line up to give us a job?"

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

Businessman thinking a nuclear bomb falling is a potential business opportunity.

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

'That's what I call macho. . .That's George. Jogging home from his vasectomy.'