Office Opportunist Gifts

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

Upward Progress

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Sign - CAN DO "I like your attitude, Harris."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

'-Must remember to empty that...'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

I accidentally deleted your report, Bob. Figures. Coffee maker's broken, Bob. Figures. Forget those changes I asked you to make, Bob. Figures. Bob, your flight is at 5 a.m. Figures. I need you to stay late, Bob. Figures. No, Bob, your plan doesn't cover dental. Figures. It wasn't exactly the six0figures job that Bob had hoped for.

Nothing to Lose

Man selling dirt and mud.

"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."

'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."