Office Opportunist Gifts

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

Upward Progress

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

Sign - CAN DO "I like your attitude, Harris."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

'-Must remember to empty that...'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

'There's always optimism with new management.'

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.