Office Optimist Gifts

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

'Hi, you must be the new guy.'

Kevin finds that one hand-out between 20 people makes for difficult reading.

Sign - CAN DO "I like your attitude, Harris."

'I just don't get it. The new motivational posters aren't helping at all!'

'I find that coming in late and leaving early makes the day go by faster.'

"My leaving Wilkins & Jennings was perfectly amicable. They felt that I should be fired, and I agreed."

"You've obviously overlooked something."

"Ok, I came up with the plan. Now you go and implement it."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

"I Have so much less stress since I removed the phone and inbox."

'Since I plan on working for your company for the next 20 years, I was hoping to get all my paychecks up front.'

'I see a brilliant future for you. Do you see it, too?'

"Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!"

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."

Finnings was just too nice for this World

'Give me a Y... give me an E... give me an S...

"I just don't think I can stand it anymore!"

'I thought an assignment as head of an overseas branch was a promotion.'

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

"Beats working in a cubicle."

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

'You want paid a lot, we'll pay you a little. You want to start off at the top, we'll start you off at the bottom. When can you start.'

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

Nothing to Lose

Clancy: Around here we call that progress!

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

Problem? Yes, but i think I know who can solve it.

'Tell the employees not to think of it as a layoff, but a drawdown.'

Do NOT enter - instead do something nice for someone you like

'I want you to make this company as perfect as it looks in our TV commercial spots.'

Planning Department