Disaster Opportunist Gifts

Businessman thinking a nuclear bomb falling is a potential business opportunity.

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Man selling dirt and mud.

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

'I called the electric company and told them not to hurry to restore power.'

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"My reasons for asking for a raise are wholly unselfish. I wish to marry your daughter!"

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'Disaster!' they said. 'Great business opportunity,' I replied.

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Dye now, pay later!

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

'Hey, it's Heaven, why wouldn't we cash in on that?'

Instant winner trash can

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

'Your best bet, Ralph, is to win the lottery...'

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

"It's a collection for Shirley. I want to take her to lunch."

'There goes Slippery Sid, he never misses a trick does he?'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

'This isn't Lindsey, but I AM free for dinner saturday night.'

"'One Trip Per Person', read the sign above the salad bar. Luckily for Dan, he had cheek pouches."

"You look at the ocean and see peace and tranquility. . . I see opportunities for offshore drilling!"