Disasterpreneur Gifts

'Disaster!' they said. 'Great business opportunity,' I replied.

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

Natural Disasters

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Hurricane damage to trees

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

Spiro & Pusho painting a room.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

"Does it have a chapter on using the phone to call someone who can do it right?"

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

Tornado Season in America.

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

Natural Disaster This Way...

Where's the leak then?

Eric Cantor, Republican, Fiscal Conservative, Sociopath

"Then we're all agreed. We'll repair the earthquake damage to every structure in town except for this one, which we'll leave as a reminder of the dangers of shoddy construction."

Alberta on fire

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"How's your SCUBA diving instruction school doing?"

Bad Hobby Combination: The DIY Beehive/Mailbox

Flood Rescues

Watching TV through window - "You should have measured the doorway first."

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

'Trouble is he doesn't know the difference between lube and putty. . . Our windows fell out!'

"Engage! Your! Core!"

'-I told you you made that cat flap too small!'