Education Opportunist Pillows

'To be honest I only became a vicar to get my children into the C of E school.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

"Brian's always had a good nose for business."

Business Books: How to profit from authoritarianism.

Man selling dirt and mud.

"I will place this broken phone charger in the 'man' drawer. Where in six months time, it will magically fix itself."

Take Away Wedding Cake 50p.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

Origins of the 'Beard Of Bees'.

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'I'm rather rich actually, maybe it's because I always laugh all the way to the bank...'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'We have something with terrific fringe benefits. No salary - just fringe benefits.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

Dye now, pay later!

'When one trap door closes, another opens.'

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."

Instant winner trash can

'No. Why should I give you my autograph?. You'll only sell it on eBay!'

"So you think people will line up to give us a job?"

"We offer a short-term high yield bond fund that may fit your particular investing priorities."

"I don't think we can approve you for homeschooling your child based on the fact that you signed your application with an 'X'."

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

'That's the third wrong number today ordering pizza. Mrs. Beatton, put in a pizza department - we deliver!'

All Around the world, business leaders are rising to the challenge of climate change. . .

"Originally I was resting before I was between engagements... I'm out of work now and next month I'll be counted as unemployed."

"You look at the ocean and see peace and tranquility. . . I see opportunities for offshore drilling!"