Racing Buff Gifts

'He is quite pleasant really, just a bit of a petrol head.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Men's fragrances...

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"I told him he should have trained more."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'The buildings are merging.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

Government Shutdown: 'Hah! You blinked. I saw you!'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"As someone fluent in dog fights, I found the election quite interesting."