Running Buff Gifts

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

US v.s. Tech Giants

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Have you no common scents?!'

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"I told him he should have trained more."

Some scents are nonsense.

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'He's a yodelling busker!'(Busker on faraway mountain).

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'The buildings are merging.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

Motivation to Keep Fit.

Pollyanna, the Hamster

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

"I can't wait to see our new ad campaign. Wait, don't tell me...it's NEW and IMPROVED!"

We're polishing our brand.

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

'I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I had the whitest teeth!'

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

"This should be good! I switched his discus with a frisbee!"

I need a 10 foot board. That's 70 feet in dog feet.

Today's seminar is going to be so much fun...