Rambling Buff Gifts

Family Hiking Trip

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

That's What Happens

The discovery of asparagus.

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Of Mice and Men.

Get on with it!

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Why is it always about me?'

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

Privatized Jails

Newton's Law and Order.

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

America's funniest investment scams

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

'Just look'in'

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

Adios Amoebas

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'If you wanted to become rich, you shouldn't have become a doctor. You should have become an investment counselor.'

"What?"