Ritual Buff Gifts

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

Bible Bloopers

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Even More Disciples'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'Moses looks back - 'The commandments, the Red Sea, the books of the bible, but I never had a hit song.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Quit throwing dinner plates, Gentle Jesus.'