Religion Buff Gifts

The Land Of Milk And Honey: Day 1

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

'Is it organic?'

"Some wise men...you'd think one of them would have thought of diapers."

God's bathroom.

"Great work Moses...do you mind transferring them onto papyrus now?"

"So are these guidelines, management proposals or written-in-stone policies?

Angel with 2 halos - "Here comes Mr Holier than thou."

Priest Runs from the Confessions Box.

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Ok, ok

"How kind of you to notice I need a new God."

"I like it, but let's replace the 'evolved from apes' bit with something more plausible - like a talking snake."

10 Commandments - New Releases

Priest walking along the street. Passerby notices a devil's tail from under the Cassock.

'Why didn't they do what I told them#? Evict the from the Garden of Eden, give them the common cold, mosquitoes, taxes and lawyers.'

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"And Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, and they were ashamed."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

God and the Devil play poker

"These presents, are they for his birthday or for Christmas?"

Moses as a Cat: Do Whatever You Want.

"Oh, crap. Hat hair again."

Public confessions

"According to the federal government. . . we are now an officially recognized religion!"

'A pope, please!'

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

'As your doctor - cut it down to two tablets, Moses.'

For Sale, One Soul, Still In Box, Never Used.

'Just for that, I'm making 'Thou shalt not moon' number eleven!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'

'And now a word from our sponsor.'

'The bible? It's under 'G' for 'God'.'

Sign in Hell; 'Hell, open 24 hours.'