Religion Buffs Gifts

"'Thou shalt give good discounts'? That's a commandment?"

'The father the son and the holy spirit split.'

'Could you tone down your humility a bit, Brother Jerome? -- Some of the other monks are getting jealous.'

"Holy Mackerel!"

Jesus Shaves

Jesus Riding A Pegasus.

St. Peter sits at desk marked 'Redemption Center'.

Do you want to add something about not smoking?

"All Super Highways lead to Rome"

'Do you sell swaddling clothes?'

Church picnic

"No, we are NOT stopping. You should have gone before we left the house."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Chill Out Worshippers!

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Diagram of a dark matter halo around a saint.

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

'Is it organic?'

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

"Did we get the line item veto?"

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

'Well now, there's a coincidence. We're Adam and Yves too!'

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

'Hey! - Do these make me the Aleph-male?'

'It's a popular misconception, but in fact, it's always been 'cod'.'

"And Adam and Eve saw that they were naked, and they were ashamed."

'I warned you we'd get thrown out, changing the name from the Garden of Eden.'