Rambling Buff Pillows

Family Hiking Trip

The discovery of asparagus.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Of Mice and Men.

"Remember when we had to get along on twenty-one dollars a month!"

Get on with it!

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

"I can't imagine how things could get any worse."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Why is it always about me?'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Privatized Jails

Newton's Law and Order.

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

America's funniest investment scams

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'Just look'in'

'Now don't forget, polar bears can be sneaky buggers.'

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

Adios Amoebas

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"What?"

"When you quote a Presidential candidate, Gorman, you do not—I repeat—do not roll your eyes."