Racing Buff Pillows

'He is quite pleasant really, just a bit of a petrol head.'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Men's fragrances...

"I told him he should have trained more."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Bessy had won the 100m sprint... but many suspected Steeroid abuse!

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'The buildings are merging.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

"Well, Sara Kalen is wrong – Edward Snowden is not a 'tattletale.'"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'This training session is all about challenging assumptions. For example you see someone looking depressed, dishevelled, unkempt it's easy to jump to conclusions. But they may not be a social worker, they may be a client!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

Government Shutdown: 'Hah! You blinked. I saw you!'

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

The passing of a radio/tv personality.

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'Young players have a tendency to forget fundamentals over the winter.'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

"As someone fluent in dog fights, I found the election quite interesting."