Driving Buff Pillows

Your handsign was okay, pity you didn't open the window!

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"First aid box, puncture repair kit, mobile phone, energy bars and plenty of liquids; I think that's all eventualities covered..."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

CEO du Jour

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Men's fragrances...

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'Mrs Witch, you're being accused of using a poisoned apple to send a young girl into a death-like sleep. I'm placing you under arrest for the possession of illegal drugs.'

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'Why is it always about me?'

Happy Tots Day Care.

Wall Street...

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

Newton's Law and Order.

"I've got a wall I need to get to, officer."

Privatized Jails

Management self help books: "He's staring at me, do you think he's having some kind of seizure?" "Managing negotiations chapter 3, 'maintain eye contact whilst reinforcing image of strength and warmth'"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

"The buck really stops with him."

Auto-Pilot.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

'With all the new laws being proposed, our tomatoes with founder genes may soon be an endangered species.'

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."