Motor Buff Pillows

Man, with his protective shell...

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Men's fragrances...

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

Happy Tots Day Care.

West End Shows closing - box office piled high with boxes.

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'We've found the problem...'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"Don't be ridiculous. If the wheels were round, you'd never be able to stop."

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

Personnel. You did high-tech work in this railroad job? It was a part-time position --- I was a semi-conductor.

Democracy for Hire

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

'I never forget a face.'

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Clown shows his car to a clown mechanic, saying: 'She's running just great, could you take a look at her?'

'I can't remember the last time I treated a case of amnesia, and I can't even remember if I ever did treat one.'

The driverless car

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

A production line adds condiments to cars

'Zero to sixty in three days.'