Quirky Pun Collector Pillows

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Fist Bumper Cars

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Ms. Rusmore

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

This man is an island.

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Biliard Enthusiast

"Paper or plastic?"

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

A Brain Drain

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

The Bear Fax.

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

Racketeer

Bell Hop

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

Ed Revere, Spam Courier

'I'd say your vision is being affected by an arrow through your head, but perhaps you'd like to get a second opinion from an eye specialist.'

"Unplug and chill out."

Artichoking victim

Cafe: 'Soup of the day, Hon, is 'primordial'.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"