Fun Pun Collector Pillows

Bloody Mary

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Fist Bumper Cars

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Ms. Rusmore

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"There are two ways we can go here - bark or bite."

This man is an island.

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

How Romans give each other a high five...

The Bear Fax.

Racketeer

"Unplug and chill out."

Bell Hop

Artichoking victim

"Every five minutes it's 'feed me this, get me that' or something along those lines, I mean, I'm parrot-phrasing."

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"It started with a few grey hares in my 20's and they kept showing up."

Spiv

"Butt cracker"

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

'I guess it's true what they say: spirits just don't mix'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

Santa never made it as a pirate: 'Yo ho ho! And a bottle of egg nog!'

"Sorry, boss, but I'd like to take a leaf of absence."

Mensa Applicants - Please Form an Orderly IQ.

Referee - That's a foul !

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

Baroquin' around the Christmas Tree