Collector Of Puns Pillows

Spiv

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Fist Bumper Cars

Ms. Rusmore

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

This man is an island.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

'Wool ewe pullover yourself together.'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

The Bear Fax.

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Racketeer

Artichoking victim

"Unplug and chill out."

Bell Hop

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"