Artistic Pun Collector Pillows

'Oh, I don't paint -- I'm a make-out artist!'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Fist Bumper Cars

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

This man is an island.

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

How Romans give each other a high five...

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The Bear Fax.

Racketeer

Bell Hop

'What do you mean I used to be cute?'

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"Butt cracker"

Hell's Schlegel

Spiv

Doctor to man with baseball player and footbal player on feet: 'You have a bad case of athlete's foot.'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

'I knew my salary wasn't high enough until I felt deep abiding shame.'

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Mensa Applicants - Please Form an Orderly IQ.

Burning and Rotting In Hell Desk Organisers

Rock 'n Rolls. It's like an ice cream truck, except they sell baked treats and play classic rock music. Rolling scones!

"You have an intense fear of long words. We call this condition Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia."

"Did you dial the rabbit response line?"

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

"Why do you suppose they call it the green room?"

"Avast - it's Mobius Dick, the one-sided whale."

"I'm unable to process this image."

the dreaded Testes Fly...

"My scientific opinion? That is one big ass bacon."

"When I said contact a FOCUS group..."

"I have to twinkle"