Quirky Pun Lover Pillows

'Could I have a loan a cup of sugar please?'

"I hate when we (crossbow) quarrel."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

Astral Projection

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

Peach flirting with a banana.

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'Can I have flies with that'

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

He wanted a different one.

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Think about the honey."

Toenail clipping missile.

"Barnes is morphing into some kind of strange creature. I warned him about eating out of the vending machines."

Litter Tray Stonehenge