Brainy Pun Lover Pillows

A Brain Drain

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

"You've passed with extinction!"

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I can't log-on. Some-one disabled cookies."

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Larry's Literary Market.

Hell's Schlegel

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'