Quirky Park Ranger Gifts

Topiary: helping nature look her best

Bitchbark Canoe

Playing Fetch.

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

'Look at that! Peanuts!'

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

Dog tries to obey No Dog sign

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

Even for a mountain goat he's good.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Danger Falling Leaves

Malfunctioning geyser

'Break glass in case of tangled antlers.'

'Well, he's always been a hero to me.'

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

'That's right - a restraining order. You should know mother bears are very protective of their young.'

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

'Click it or ticket.'

"True, it is 'organic.' It's also a dead squirrel!"

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."